Feigning Innocence
by Aims11085
Summary: He'd changed her. They both had at some point or another. She just wasn't sure which changes were for the better. RL, RT.
1. Default Chapter

**Author's Note:** I'm not entirely sure what pairing this is going to end up being. It'll probably change more than once as the story progresses. I guess it's sort of AU. In the world where it's only RoryLogan - nothing past Pulp Friction has taken place. Everything that went on with Rory and Tristan happened, plus much more. Rory herself isn't exactly in character, at least - she's more targeted towards this seasons 'bad' girl Rory. It's not the fluffiest of stories - but it will have its moments. Promise.

Reviews are a writer's best friend. Thanks in advance! (Any willing betas - e-mail me!)

**Feigning Innocence**

The music was playing in the background, not to loudly, just right. She hated overly loud music, where it got to be so overbearing she could barely hear herself think. That tended to happen at these gatherings too. But not tonight. And for that she was grateful. She'd been against coming tonight. She was tired and she had so much work to do that thinking about it made her cringe. She'd gotten home from class, planning to take a shower, long and hot and then get into her pajamas and study. Long and hard.

But he'd called and any and all plans she had were out the window.

Because he did something to her that she was starting to realize was not good.

He was changing her.

Slowly, but surely.

He'd called, and she'd smiled as his name appeared on the screen of her cell phone. She was never sure when a call would come from him. It'd been four days since his last one. She hated him for that. She'd fully intended on turning him down. He only called when he wanted to see her.

He never called just to say hi.

So he'd asked her to come over, told her that Colin was cooking and Colin cooking was such a rare occurence that he insisted she be part of it. She'd denied him at first. And it felt good, if only for a second. Maybe one day she'd be able to say no and mean it.

But not today.

He'd continued to insist that she come and she'd even said no once more. But then he'd said that he missed her. That it'd been a few days and a few days was too long. And she'd caved. She always caved when he told her that he missed her.

And she didn't even know if she believed him.

So she'd said yes, against her better judgement, and she could practically see the smile of victory he had written on his face. And the thought of that smile, that smirk, made _her _smile. Because he made her smile. Plain and simple.

He'd told her he was glad to hear it and then asked her to bring her roommate Lauren, Paris too if she wanted. Finn wanted to get to know Lauren. And Rory figured that he didn't want to get to know her in the literal sense.

So here she was, in the common room of the dorm Logan shared with Finn and Colin, surrounded by people she knew and didn't know, people she had met once before, but whose names she could not remember, and people that she'd grown to love. Lauren, Paris, Logan, and even Finn and Colin.

And for the moment at least, she was glad Logan was changing her.

"Lauren, you're looking absolutely stunning tonight." Finn complimented the brunette for the third time that night, his australian accent slurred.

Lauren smiled, always taking compliments well. "Well thanks Finn, you don't look so bad yourself."

Rory chuckled, amused at Finn's antics. She always was. He was quite the character, one she was glad to be associated with, if only because he could make her laugh.

"And where's your other friend, ladies?" Colin asked, sauntering over, a beer in one hand. "The tightly wound one."

"She's not so bad." Lauren smiled, as Finn's armed wrapped around her.

"She's studying." Rory answered. "Something I should be doing right now."

"Studying is overrated." Finn replied.

Rory rolled her eyes. "So is being drunk everyday of your life, Finn."

The group laughed and Rory did too. She liked them. She felt special for some reason. She felt like she belonged, and belonging to something so exclusive, so important felt good.

The music got a little louder, not much but Rory could tell. She knew it was time for her to go. If she stayed any longer she'd be convinced to stay the night. She'd drink a little more, and she couldn't afford to drink a little more. She eyed Lauren, catching her glance and motioned for her to follow.

"We'll be back." Lauren announced, grabbing Rory's hand.

"Don't be long, love."

Lauren winked in return. Never the shy one. Something Rory admired.

"What's up?" Lauren asked, pulling Rory into a quiet corner, one where no one stood.

Rory shrugged, placing her cup down, a smaller amount of alcohol gracing its insides then she would have liked. "I need to go."

"What's the matter?"

Another shrug, a glance behind her to see where Logan was. Still talking to that girl. "I have to study. And I can't be convinced to stay here tonight."

"Why not?"

"It's just a bad idea." Rory sighed. She barely knew what she was talking about anymore. "Lauren, he does something to me."

"Logan?" Lauren asked stupidly. Because even though she went to Yale she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box when it came to common sense.

"Yes, Logan. Lauren, do you know how many classes I've skipped since I've been playing this little game with him? How many tests and quizzes I haven't studied for?"

"Rory, you ace everyone of your tests."

Another sigh. Larger this time. "That isn't the point! The point is I should study. What happens one time when I have no idea what I'm doing? And I fail? What happens then? I blow it off and let it go because at least when I wasn't studying I was getting a good lay?"

"I think you're making this a bigger deal then it actually is."

Maybe she was. So she'd let it go. Again. Because she didn't want to make problems when it wasn't entirely necessary.

Someone grabbed her waist from behind and she knew without looking that it was Logan. Because she knew the feel of his touch. She reveled in it, really.

"Hey." He whispered into her ear, and she could smell the alcohol. Bitter and rank but somehow thrilling at the same time.

She bit her lower lip, glancing at Lauren, a smile upon the girls face as she walked away. "Hey." She answered, turning to face him.

His eyes were bloodshot and she hated knowing why.

He leaned forward, catching her lower lip between his. She sighed, giving into him. It was a lost cause, anyways. Smoothing her hand over his chest she savored the feel of his body next to hers, she never knew if it was going to be the last time. His lips parted beneath hers and she surrendered to him. Because she needed him. Her tongue slipped into the cavern of his mouth and a groan came up from the back of throat. She knew it was because he was drunk. He was drunk and high and horny. But she didn't care.

He pushed her backwards, up against the wall. She knew that people were probably watching. But she didn't care. A month ago she would have cared. But not now. He ran his hands slowly up and down her sides, one hand slipping underneath her sweater. She broke away with a short sigh as he trailed short, breathy kisses along her jaw, down her neck, lingering at the hollow of her throat.

Her eyes opened, coming into contact with the back of somebody. Somebody, who even from behind she couldn't mistake.

But it couldn't be. So she forgot.

But she did push Logan away, realizing that if he didn't stop he would take her right there. And that couldn't happen.

"Logan. Not here." She got out, her voice cracking. She wanted him.

He nodded, grabbing her hand and weaving her through the small crowds. She knew they were headed in the direction of his bedroom.

She stopped him though, because the nagging feeling of the backside she couldn't stop staring at became to much.

"Logan." She said, stopping midway between where they had just been together and his room.

"What?" He groaned, turning to her.

"Who is that?" She asked, pointing in the direction of the mystery man, ignoring his impatience.

He sighed, letting go of her hand, running it through his hair as he looked in the direction in which she pointed.

He broke out in a smile as she saw who it was. "You have got to be kidding me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, creasing her brow in confusion.

"Dugrey, you fucking asshole." He called across the room, no one seemed to care much.

But Rory did.

She'd known it was him, but she'd hoped that it wasn't.

Tristan turned, a smile on his face, not noticing her as he made his way over to Logan. They grasped hands, pulling in for a hug. The manly kind that were supposed to be cool. Rory never understood them. But she didn't care right now.

"Huntz. You look like shit."

And then he noticed her.

Her eyes casted downwards, towards the floor. Because his gaze, towards her at least, had always been far to intense for her to handle.

"Well, well, well."

"Tristan." She greeted, only briefly making eye contact.

"Mary."

And she hated him all over again.

Logan looked on in confusion. To drunk, to high, to comprehend much of anything.

"You two know eachother?"

She shrugged. "Know is such an unspecific term, don't you think?"

Tristan chuckled, smirking that God damn smirk that she had always loved to hate. "Yeah, we know eachother."

"How?"

"We went to Chilton together." Rory answered quickly before Tristan could answer. She didn't want to know what his answer would have been.

Logan nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer.

"Yale, Rory?" He asked. Calling her Rory had always pissed her off. Just as much as when he called her Mary and she didn't even know why.

She shrugged. He didn't deserve much more.

"What happened to Harvard?"

"Nothing happened to Harvard, it's still there. Standing strong without me."

"You haven't changed a bit." He answered. Like he knew her at all.

If only he knew how much she'd changed.

"Well, it's been fun and Dugrey I definitely want to catch up, but we were just about to..."

But before Logan could finish Rory shoved him. She wasn't sure why but she wanted Tristan knowing nothing about her. Or her life at Yale. Or who she spent it with.

But he'd caught on. And his smirk was a little more evil this time and she absolutely resented it.

"Well, I'll be."

"Fuck off, Tristan." And with that she was grabbing Logan's hand and pulling him in the direction of his room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay! I lost any and all inspiration - and it took me quite a while to get back on track. I think I am now, however. I've already started the next chapter - and the wheels are turning.

Thank you for those that reviewed - I hope you enjoy...and review again:)

Again - everything that happened on the show between Rory and Tristan did infact happen. As far as Logan and Rory go - everything up until Pulp Friction is fair game. After that, forget it!

* * *

**Chapter 2 : Feigning Innocence**

Four days later and she couldn't get him off her mind. Why she didn't know. She hadn't thought of him since their last encounter the night he had left Chilton and everything it offered him, or didn't for that matter. Of course, that was a larger lie then she liked to admit.

She had thought of him. Progressively less, of course, as the years went by, but she had thought of him. Where he was, what he was doing, if he had changed.

The last time she had thought of him, before she saw him, was when she'd first started becoming friendly with Logan. She wasn't sure why it had been at the exact moment that she realized she liked Logan, Tristan popped into her mind. She guessed, however, that it was because in a large sense, Logan was much like Tristan. Actually, she'd come to conclude that Logan was exactly like Tristan. She'd wondered more times then she liked to admit if that had anything to do with her overwhelming attraction to Logan.

Tristan was the only other guy she'd wanted as badly as she did Logan.

Only difference was, this time around she'd given in to Logan. Something she'd often kicked herself for not doing with Tristan.

She hadn't brought Tristan up to Logan since their encounter. Logan had been to drunk at the moment to care about her outburst, and following what went on in his bedroom, she figured he'd completely forgotten.

And he had.

She hadn't though.

And the longer she waited to bring up Tristan the more curious she became.

Which was why she decided that she'd ask Logan tonight. When he picked her up for whatever party he was dragging her to this time.

She pretended like it bothered her. The fact that Logan rarely took her out, just the two of them. Of course, she assumed it was because they were only casual, nothing serious. She couldn't expect dates and alone time with a guy that was only basically using her for sex. Of course, she knew it wasn't just the sex. She knew Logan cared about her, he'd told her amongst lust-filled nights and drunken conversations.

But the truth was; it didn't bother her. She liked the relationship she had with Logan in all it's messed up glory. She reveled in the fact that she could be part of something so different then who she was. At least, who she was thought to be. And, for that matter, she only truly cared for Logan too. She didn't love him. She knew that for a fact. She wasn't sure how she knew it. She liked being with him, a lot. He made her laugh and smile and he made her feel good.

Really good.

But it wasn't love. Not on either one of their parts – It was fun and it was lust and it was going to end eventually, something she was fine with for the most part.

So she looked herself up and down in the mirror, a flash of Tristan, a flash of Logan entering in her mind.

And she promised herself she'd ask Logan about Tristan tonight. How they knew eachother, what it was he was doing at Yale. Simple stuff like that.

And she told herself, no, convinced herself, it was only because she was nosy and curious.

Not because she cared.

The knock on her door took her from her thoughts. She looked to the sound, waiting for whomever it was to come in.

Knocking was simply a meaningless gesture in her dorm room. Whether it was Paris, Lauren, Logan or any other number of people, they only knocked…to knock. Following it, the door would open whether she'd given her permission or not.

And she liked that.

Paris' head poked in, and Rory waited. "Logan's here."

"Thanks." She replied, checking herself out once more in the mirror.

She grabbed her purse, leaving her bedroom to follow Paris. Logan was sitting on her couch, the clicker of the television in his hand, his eyes focused on some meaningless television show.

"Hey." She said, waiting for him to acknowledge her.

He smiled, his eyes glancing over her appreciatively. She let him look, having gotten used to the gesture. The other thing she loved about her relationship with Logan:

His ability to have changed her.

He'd removed her from her shell, brought out a side of her so different she feared showing it to the people that had known her forever. Her mother, Luke, the whole town of Stars Hollow, Lane even. Paris had seen it, simply because she was right there to witness it – and Lauren? Well, Lauren only knew better from having lived with Rory since freshman year.

This was why Logan had never been brought to Stars Hollow. This was why she refused to even invite him. She wanted him to stay where he was. She wanted the new Rory to stay at Yale, the old one to stay at home.

And whether that was healthy or not, she didn't really care.

It was how she liked it.

He stood up, kissing her simply before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Bye Paris." She called to her roommate.

Paris waved but Rory didn't see.

She let Logan drag her to his car, allowed him to open the passenger side door for her, like always. He was a gentleman underneath it all. It was another thing she liked about him. He was gentle and polite and wild and rough and he let all sides of him show to everyone. She envied him, she thought.

"Where are we going?" She asked as soon as he entered the car, starting the engine and pulling out of the parking space.

"A friend of mine, he lives off campus. He just moved into his apartment with I think two of his friends, and he's having a housewarming part of sorts." Logan answered, smirking. A housewarming party was really the most inappropriate description he could have used.

"Do I know the friend?" She asked.

She looked to him, and she could tell he was thinking. "I think you do actually, Tristan, from the other night."

And she couldn't help but think what a fucking coincidence this was.

"Oh." She answered, for lack of any other words.

"Didn't you say you knew him the other night?" He asked. And she feared it was all coming back to him.

"Uhh, yeah we went to high school together." She answered, being as vague as possible. As much as she wanted answers, she didn't want to give out any of her own.

"That's right. Pretty ironic, huh?" Logan asked. If only he knew.

"Yeah," She scoffed, taking a deep breath. "How do you know him?"

"Our parents are friends, and he was part of the Harvard Life and Death Brigade." He answered, turning onto a street not two minutes from her dorm room.

"Was?" She asked, casually of course. She didn't want to be obvious.

"Uh-huh. He just transferred here, so now he's part of our group. The kid's a fucking lunatic. I love the guy."

She rolled her eyes. Figured.

"He's kind of like you." She pointed out. Why she had no idea.

He laughed though, she figured it wasn't the first time he was hearing the comparison.

"Were you guys friends?" He asked. And she hated him because she didn't want to answer that.

"He hasn't asked you about me since the other night?"

"Nah, we haven't really talked."

"Oh." God, she hated this. "I hated him in high-school. He made my life hell. He was an asshole."

"Sounds about right." He answered, pulling up to an apartment builing. One she only wished she could afford. "He probably just wanted to sleep with you."

"Whatever. He called me, Mary."

And again, he laughed. He'd probably called a few girls in his lifetime, Mary, as well. "If only he knew how much you've changed." He replied with a wink and she could only give him the finger because he was right.

He opened his car door following that comment, running around the car to do the same for her. She got out, allowing him to close it after her. He grabbed her hand, once more dragging her some place. She wondered if he did that simply because he was afraid she'd run the opposite direction if he didn't.

And then, she wondered, if maybe he was right.

The party was in full swing when they arrived, the smell of alcohol and smoke evident in the air. For a split second she cringed at the scent, but quickly got over it. She was used to it by now.

Logan pulled her through the crowd, grabbing the two of them a beer on the way, from a cooler placed randomly on what she presumed to be the living room floor. He greeted his fair share of people, and it even surprised her to see that she now greeted a few of those same people.

She wondered if she liked this.

Being apart of his world.

And she quickly established that she did.

She liked this life, when it was a secret to the ones she cared most about.

She simply followed wherever it was that Logan was taking her. It didn't make much sense to argue the fact that he was squeezing her hand to tight and pulling her far to quickly. He probably wouldn't have even been able to hear her over the other noises in the room. Music and laughing and obnoxious screaming over what she assumed was an even more obnoxious drinking game.

And then she saw him. Standing there, a smile on his face, a beer in his hand. And she couldn't help but think how good he looked.

The same, only different.

He was with Stephanie, Finn, Colin, and Robert. The usuals, the ones she'd come to accept as her friends. Who she now knew accepted her as part of them. And whenever she saw them, for a brief moment she would ask herself if this was how it would be after Logan was done with her.

She figured she didn't want to know that answer.

"There he is!" She heard Finn cry, bowing to Logan as he always did when he was incredibly wasted. Something she found laughable, for whatever reason.

She kept her eyes away from his, allowing Stephanie to detach her hand from Logan's and grab her into a fierce hug. The blonde loved hugs, something Rory had come to discover.

"Rory!" She yelled almost directly into her ear.

"Hey Steph." Rory answered, returning the hug.

Stephanie pulled away, a smile on her face. "We were just talking about you."

"You were?" Rory asked, her interest piqued.

The blonde nodded, smiling. "Tristan was telling us how you guys knew eachother in high school."

And it was then, that Rory looked in his direction. Her eyes meeting his because he had already been looking.

"He was, huh?" Rory asked, her eyes not leaving hers.

"Small fucking world." She heard Colin interject.

"Hey, Mary." He greeted, lifting his beer to his mouth.

She smiled, blushing. She couldn't have been sure why. At least not at that moment.

Logan moved closer to her, speaking into her ear, sending chills down her spine. "I'm gonna go get another drink, you want?"

She looked down at her beer bottle, more than half full. "I'm good, thanks."

He nodded, kissing right below her ear, making her blush even further when she realized Tristan had witnessed the entire exchange.

So had Finn, Colin, and Steph but they had before. Several times actually - she was suddenly all screwed up.

She watched as Logan went off in the direction of the kitchen, Finn and Colin following closely behind.

"Well," Stephanie started, and Rory hoped she wasn't about to finish how she thought. "I'll leave you two to catch up."

And with that she was gone and Rory was left alone, with him. And for the first time in a while she was unsure of what exactly to do with herself.

But she ignored it. It was only Tristan and he meant nothing to her. Nothing but something completely insignificant that had been in her past.

"So you just transferred here?" She asked, weak conversation - but conversation nonetheless.

He nodded, finishing off his beer. "Yep, don't ask why, I don't feel like explaining."

She was slightly taken aback at his attitude, why she wasn't sure. He was exactly how she remembered him and she let it be known. "You haven't changed."

He smirked. A smirk she'd forgotten. One so similar to Logan's it scared her. "Makes one of us."

She glared because she suddenly hated him. He was scrutinizing her, he was comparing everything she had been to everything she was and she hated it. She had no idea why she cared. She didn't. She tried to convince herself of this at least. She didn't care that this guy that had made her life hell in more ways then one way wasseeing her in the light she only allowed few to see her.

And it scared her that the only thing she did seem to care about at the moment was that she didn't want him to get to know this part of her.

She wanted him to remember her as she had been.

Which made her wonder, for the first time, if this was who she even liked being. Even if it was only for a while.

She wanted, for the first time, for him to keep calling her Mary.

"Don't pretend like you know me." She requested, the only thing she could think to say that may havehelped her.

"I obviously don't anymore." He answered.

"You never did." Was her reply. And she felt her walls going back up.

"He can't be your boyfriend." Were the next words out of his mouth. "I mean, I wanted to ask...when I saw you with him the other day. I wanted to ask someone what was going on there but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone about you, or talk about you, until half an hour ago when Steph said something about you coming with Logan. And even then I couldn't bring myself to ask them what the fuck the two of you were. Because he certainly never used to be your type. And I say that because that would have meant that I was your type and you made it quite clear that I was the exact opposite. Besides, he'sbag boy's polar opposite."

"Why do you even care?" She asked, scared. Scared because she had been to scared to ask about him too.

"I don't care. I just never would have imagined you'd be one to fuck somebody who didn't love you."

"God. I hate you." She muttered, surprising even herself.

He smirked. And she hated him even more. "You're just so different."

"I am not." She protested. This was exactly what she didn't want. No matter how much she claimed to hate him she didn't. She wanted him to know her as who she used to be. "I'm not any different."

"Please Rory. This is the same girl who kissed me and ran away, the same girl who kept her head in the books her whole high school career, who never did anything her mother or grandparents or boyfriend would disapprove of. I mean - you were too God damn scared to go after the one thing you wanted, now look at you."

"What are you talking about?" She questioned against her better judgement.

"Me."

"You?"

"You wanted me. But you were to scared to do anything about it. And I tried - I tried to break your shell, I tried to make it easier, but you still wouldn't let it be. Guess Logan was able to do it though. I don't know - maybe you just weren't ready back then."

"I did not want you." She fought back weakly. She hated him.

And all he did was smirk because it was then that everyone returned, then that Logan put his arm around her, and then that she finished the remainder of her beer.

She tried not to look at him, tried not to care, tried not to let any of his words affect her.

But try as hard as she could, she couldn't.

He'd seen her this way - in this environment and he'd come to his own conclusions. He'd called her out on a few of her fears, he'd let her know that he was smarter then she gave him credit for. And she figured, no, she hoped - that he'd drink himself into complete oblivion and forget he'd even seen her.

She was going to try to do the same.


	3. Chapter 3

The party continued on, oblivious to the battle going on inside of Rory's head.

She'd failed at her attempt to drink herself silly. The one thing she had yet to learn from her new friends was how to drink until you could no longer think. She knew her limit, she knew how much she could and could not handle. And she knew that no matter how much she wanted to get beyond wasted – the after effects would probably be worse then her current situation.

Not that she had much of a situation. She was being ridiculous, she knew this perfectly well. She was sleeping with Logan and harboring feelings for a boy – no man, which she hadn't seen in years.

"Want another?" Tristan asked, when he noticed her cup was empty.

It was the first words he'd spoken to her since their confrontation.

And her cup had been empty for close to an hour.

She shook her head, realizing that Logan was no longer sitting next to her. She'd obviously missed his exit when Stephanie had been grilling her on where'd she'd bought her shirt. She wondered if he'd planned it that way.

"So, you like my place?" He asked, and she wondered why he was starting this with her. Small talk seemed so beyond him.

She nodded her throat dry. "It's nice."

He laughed, sipping at his drink. "It's a piece of crap. Messy all the time, fridge never fully stocked. But the rent's doable and my roommates are good guys."

"Couldn't get daddy to buy you a nice bachelor pad?" And she immediately regretted it.

"Daddy's done with me after he pays for college." He answered his tone indifferent.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"

Tristan shrugged, finishing off his drink. "I was supposed to be some kind of prodigy. I ended up at military school, and I'm not taking over the family business. Why do you think?"

Rory blushed, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "How was that? Military school."

"You don't really care."

She glared. Where did he come from, thinking he knew so much about her? "Maybe I do."

"Well, you don't." He said sharply. "And it doesn't matter. You don't need to hear it."

She sighed. He was impossible and she hated him for it.

"So, you're no longer the small town princess?" He asked. She hated his assumptions too.

"What gives you that idea?"

He smirked. "You really have to ask that?"

She groaned. "I don't know where you come off, but don't presume you know anything about me or my life okay, Tristan?"

He chucked. She could tell he was drunk.

"What?" She asked shortly.

"Still sounds just as sweet." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"When you say my name. It never sounded better coming from anybody else's mouth. And trust me; it's come from many a female's lips."

She blushed, swallowing the lump in her throat. She had no idea how he managed to do it. One second she felt completely in control of the situation the next he caught her off guard.

"You're drunk." She said, stating the obvious.

"Which doesn't change the fact that it's entirely true."

She sighed, standing. She couldn't handle this. "Did you see where Logan went?"

He pursed his lips together, standing as well. "I don't think you want to know."

She sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "Just tell me."

He nodded his head behind her, obviously pointing to something. She turned, the feeling in her stomach only getting worse when her eyes landed on Logan. He was talking, far too intimately, with a blonde. A beautiful blonde, who was far more Logan's type then Rory ever would be.

She turned back to Tristan his eyes burning holes through her. She knew he was trying to get some sort of reaction out of her.

She wouldn't let him.

"It's fine. It's not the first time."

"The old you wouldn't have called that fine." He stated, a new beer in his hand, how he'd gotten it, she wasn't sure.

She swallowed and chose to ignore his observation. "He's not my boyfriend."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "No? Then what would you call him. A friend?"

"I'm leaving. I don't need this shit from you." She replied angrily, picking up her purse and coat from where she had been sitting.

"How you gonna get home?" He asked. He always asked the right questions, didn't he?

"I'll figure it out."

"You always do, don't you."

"And what the hell does that mean?" She asked, glaring. Seemed she had glared at him more tonight then in her entire life.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I'm drunk."

She sighed. She was so close to crying she could feel the lump lodging in her throat and the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Listen, can you just tell Logan I left?" She asked.

He looked at her, studying her. She hated when he did that. She hated when his eyes were on her and she couldn't do anything about it. She hated how it made her feel.

"I'll drive you." He said, placing his beer on the table beside him.

She rolled her eyes, momentarily pushing the tears away. "I'm not stupid."

"Did I say you were?" He asked, confused.

"You implied it when you suggested I get into a car with you while you're like this."

He laughed. "You're right. As always. I'm the stupid one for suggesting it."

"Any better suggestions?" She asked quietly. She really needed to leave.

He shook his head. "He might have one though."

And before she could ask what he meant, someone was grabbing her from behind, arms wrapping around her waist. She suddenly didn't know who she hated more. Logan, Tristan, or herself.

"Hi." She greeted quietly.

"Hello." He answered, kissing her neck.

And suddenly Rory wasn't sure what to think. Should she be happy that when he got horny and drunk that he found her for sex and didn't just take the blonde upstairs, or upset that he couldn't be bothered with her unless they were having sex?

"Having fun?" He asked, and she contemplated whether or not she should lie.

She opted to shrug. It wasn't saying much but he'd accept it. He didn't really care anyways.

"So, I told Ashlie I'd drive her home." He said, his arms unwrapping from around her.

"Who's Ashlie?" She asked.

He turned, pointing to the blonde from before. She stood there, slightly stunned, slightly upset, and just about ready to kill someone. It almost shocked her that he could be so blunt about something so wrong. But then again he really believed he wasn't doing anything wrong.

And then sherealized that technically, he _wasn't_.

"Oh, okay." She said with a nod, consciously knowing that Tristan was right behind her, witnessing the whole show.

"You want me to drive you home too?" He asked, and she couldn't tell if that look in his eyes was genuine or not. She felt sick just looking at him.

She shook her head. "Um, I think Lauren's around here somewhere. I'll catch a ride with her when she's ready to go."

He nodded and she thought she caught a glimpse of relief wash over his face. "Alright. I'll call you." He said, kissing her briefly before turning. She turned around before she could see him lead the blonde to the door.

"Don't say anything." She warned the second her eyes met Tristan's.

He held up his hands. "I wasn't planning on it."

She looked around, noticing that only a few people still lingered in the room. She knew Lauren wasn't there either. If Logan has been thinking clearly, or even paying attention to her, he would have picked up on that fact that Lauren had never been there to being with.

"Did Finn, Colin, and Steph already leave?" She asked, hopeful.

He nodded, confirming what she already knew.

"I'll drive your car." She said, turning towards the door. She knew he'd follow.

"Well, that's all fine and dandy but how do you expect me to get home."

She shrugged, putting on her coat. "I don't care what you do as long as I'm not in the car while you are behind the wheel."

She heard him chuckle and she wondered how he could laugh at a time like this. "I'll let that slide because I know you're pissed and I know you don't mean it."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." She mumbled, pushing her way out of the house, the fresh air calming her slightly.

He walked in front of her, leading her to what she presumed was his car. He pulled a set of keys out of his pocket, unlocking what looked to be a simple black Jeep of sorts. He'd obviously traded in the Porsche.

He didn't open the door for her, not that she much expected it from him. He was drunk and he was a jerk and he was Tristan. She opened the driver's side as he climbed in the passenger seat.

"Crash it, I'll harm you." He said simply, buckling his seatbelt.

She smirked, starting the engine. She backed out of the driveway, taking in her surroundings. She thanked her lucky stars that her dorm was only two streets away. So much alone time with Tristan was doing funny things to her. And she was already pissed off enough that she might actually act on those feelings if she didn't get away soon.

She pulled down a street, pulling into the parking lot only a few feet away from her dorm. She stopped the car, turning off the engine. "Thanks."

"Anytime. You don't mind if I come in for a little bit, do you? I may be stupid but, honestly, getting into an accident and slamming my head into the steering wheel isn't exactly something I feel like doing right now."

She sighed, her stomach filled with something. "It's only a few streets."

"That's all it takes, my dear." He said and she knew he didn't believe it. She knew that he was just messing with her. And she knew, that he knew, that it was working.

"Fine. 10 minutes." She answered, opening the car door and slamming it behind her, not even waiting for him to exit the car. She walked up the pathway that led to her building, stopping only when she reached the door. She waited for him as he strolled up slowly behind her.

"I think I met one of your roommates the other night." He said as they entered the building.

She nodded, pressing the up button on the elevator, tapping her foot impatiently. "Yeah. Lauren."

He nodded. "She the only one?"

She laughed. He didn't know. "Nope."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Wanna let me in on the joke?"

"Paris is my other roommate."

"No way!" He said, loudly, as they stepped onto the now open elevator.

"Yes way." She answered more quietly. "She's still the same old Paris."

"Never thought I'd see the day where you two would be friends."

She shrugged, stepping forward as the elevator reached her floor, waiting for the doors to open. "You were the cause of most of our problems."

He smiled. "I'm good that way."

And she couldn't help but laugh. They came up to her dorm quickly. She slid her key into the lock and the door opened swiftly. The room was quiet; she glanced at the clock, 1 AM.

Rory walked in, Tristan right behind. He closed the door behind him as Rory peaked into both Lauren and Paris' rooms. Neither one in their designated beds.

"Guess they're still out."

"Paris! Out later then 10?" He questioned, walking around, scrutinizing her apartment in much the same way he had her the first time he'd seen her.

She laughed, shrugging off her coat. "Probably at her boyfriend's for the night."

He nodded, asking no more about his old friend for the moment. She watched him as he continued to examine the common room of her dorm. Before she could even object, he walked into her room, pushing the door open with a squeak.

"Hey, that's sort of rude." She called after him, following him into the room.

"I'm drunk."

She rolled her eyes. "That excuse only goes so far."

He shrugged, standing in front of her dresser, looking at each picture. One of her and her mother, one of her and Lane, one of her, Luke, her mother and grandparents from graduation, one of her and her roommates and one of her Logan, Steph, Finn, and Colin.

The last one seemed so out of place with the rest.

"Cute room."

She didn't answer. She wanted to know what he was thinking but she was too afraid to ask.

"Can I ask you a question?" He said suddenly, taking her from her thoughts.

"I guess."

He turned to her, hands stuffed inside of his pockets, eyes locked directly on her.

"Did it really upset you when you saw Logan with that other girl?"

She looked at him curiously for a moment. She wondered where that question had come from. It had been the last thing she'd expected him to ask.

But she decided to answer honestly. "No."

"Why? Because he's not your boyfriend?"

"No. Because I don't expect any more from him. I know he may seem like the bad guy here but he's really not." And for some unapparent reason she became angry. "Like you said before, I'm just fucking him."

Her words didn't seem to affect him. "Just doesn't seem like you."

"Like I've said a million times, you don't know me."

"Maybe not."

She tugged on her lower lip with her teeth, debating whether or not to say what was on her mind. She quickly decided to just do it. "The problem with you is, that I think you formed some little image of who I was and what I was like back in high school. All along you just wanted to prove that you could get whoever you wanted, virgin or not, Mary or not. Maybe I've never been the person you thought I was."

He nodded, releasing his hands from his pockets. "Or maybe you still are exactly who I always thought you were."

She sighed, a headache forming and she knew she needed him gone. "I don't feel like doing this with you. Fine, I've changed. It's allowed. I wasn't going to stay a virgin my whole life."

"I'm not saying it's bad that you changed. Change is always good. I just don't understand why you don't want me to see it."

"Which means what exactly?"

He shrugged. "Maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about, but it just seems that you're trying to convince these people, and even maybe yourself a little bit, that you're one person when really, you aren't."

She hated him. And she knew she'd told herself that a million times and she knew that she was trying to convince herself of the fact, but she thought if he continued on this path, she really would hate him. And she wondered if that was only because he seemed to read her like an open book.

"You're ten minutes is up." She said, unsure of what else she really could say.

She walked out of the room and into the bathroom. When she emerged minutes later, he was gone.

**Alright - so I know it's been a while, and for that I am sorry! I don't really have any excuses except for the fact that the inspiration for this little fic is few and far between. I'm sort of just going with the flow. However, I do want to finish this and I do plan on doing it within my life time. I can't promise when the next update is, but I can promise that it will not be months before you see another!**

**Thanks so much for the reviews. They're basically what get me to update! **

**I did write this quickly and without a beta (if you're willing, e-mail me!) I hope you like it and even more I hope it makes some semblance of sense! **

**Amy**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: No excuses for my absence or lack of updates. It is what it is. But take comfort in the fact that I am already half way done with the next chapter and I think I finally have a destination for this story. Thanks for those who are reading. :)**

* * *

_Feigning Innocence_

_Chapter 4_

"Alright. That's all the time we have for today. We'll pick up next class – don't forget papers due at the beginning of class on Wednesday." Rory's philosophy professor announced to his 8 AM class. Rory sighed, relieved that he was ending early, even if it was only five minutes. She hated Mondays, and even more she hated waking up for an 8 o'clock class.

She picked up her book and notebook, placing them into her bag before swinging it over her head and across her shoulders. She smiled at her professor as she walked out of the room, rummaging through her bag for her cell phone, in desperate need for a phone call with her mother – they'd been playing phone tag the entire weekend.

"Rory Gilmore." She heard someone say as she turned out of the classroom and walked down the hall.

She turned, already well aware as to whom the voice belonged too.

"Hi Tristan." She replied with a small smile, finding no reason _not_ to smile at him.

"I didn't know you had Philosophy with White." He said referring to the class and teacher she'd just left behind. "I've got him at 9."

"Oh, yeah. Well – you wouldn't, we didn't compare schedules or anything." She replied sarcastically.

He chuckled, his eyes twinkling and for the first time since they'd been reacquainted she noticed his blue eyes and how truly blue they were.

"Well, I'm glad I know. Now I can bother you when I need help studying." He said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes and nodded. Studying with him didn't sound so horrible, and she had no idea why that was.

She looked down, a slightly awkward silence taking over. She was suddenly not so happy her teacher had let the class out early – that gave Tristan more time before he had to go.

"Good rest of the weekend?" He asked and she wondered if the momentary lapse in their conversation has been awkward for him as well.

She shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Nothing to exciting went on…I see you made it home okay though."

"Yes, I did. I thought about calling and letting you know because I figured you were worried sick about it, but when I got home I realized I didn't have your number." He stated.

Was that a clever way of asking her for her number?

She smiled, at a loss for words. It wasn't like they were friends. Or were they?

Their eyes met and she saw that he was looking to ask her something more. Her stomach twisted and she hoped he would have the decency not to ask what was on his mind, but then again this was Tristan and if she knew him at all, she knew he really had no decency when it came to the polite thing to do.

"I saw Logan yesterday." Not quite what she had been expecting.

Her facial expression faltered, she knew that for sure. Her stomach twisted into knots and she squeezed the cell phone in her hand, praying it would ring.

"Good for you." She answered the only way she knew how.

"He was with that blonde chick from Friday night. Ashlie, I believe it was." He informed without so much as being asked. She hated him.

She narrowed her eyes at him, she had no idea what point he had to doing this to her. She knew their banter, it was fun and easy-going. It was never meant to purposely hurt somebody.

"What's your point, Tristan?"

He shrugged, checking his watch. "No point, I guess. Useless information I just thought I'd share. Or you know, maybe not so useless."

"I already told you, what he does when we aren't together is none of my business."

"But you were together." He said, egging her on. "He picked her up at a party that he brought you to as his date."

"Don't you have to go to class?" She said, because she was sure if he didn't enter that classroom soon she'd strangle him.

"I've got a minute."

Of course he did. She hated him.

"Alright, then I'll go." She said, turning.

But not fast enough, he grabbed her elbow, turning her. It wasn't rough, it wasn't painful, it just was. And she purposely ignored how the hairs on her arm stood up at his touch.

"I don't like this, Rory."

"Don't like what, Tristan?" She snapped. "Why are you so concerned with my life and what I'm doing with it? I haven't seen you in like four years. My life is no concern to you, it never was and it's not going to start now because you've suddenly reappeared."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt." He answered so nonchalantly it pissed her off. Who did he think he was?

"I'm _fine_, Tristan. You don't seem to understand that this isn't a relationship. We like being together but it's not a serious commitment. I have fun with Logan and I like being around him but I'm not in love with him, okay? I've had my share of serious relationships and this is not one of them." Never had someone infuriated her so much.

Oh wait. He had, years ago.

"Listen Rory…" He started, but she wouldn't let him.

"I don't know where you come off anyways." She scoffed. "You treated girls exactly the way Logan is treating me and Ashlie and whoever else he's with. You probably still do! You are just like him, Tristan. So stop being such a hypocrite." She said, taking a deep breath.

"This isn't about him or me. I'm not belittling Logan and what he's doing. And you're right, I do exactly what he does, this isn't about that. It's about you and the fact that I care. I always cared and it doesn't matter that I haven't seen you in four years." He paused and she thought this would be a good moment to speak.

She opened her mouth but he beat her to the punch.

"And don't let that go to your pretty little head and make some rude, snide comment about me and my sexual fantasies and little crush on you from back in high school. I barely thought about you over the last few years okay? And there have been many girls, just like there were in high school. I haven't lost my touch,"

"God forbid." She said, just because she could.

Had he really not thought about her?

"I just care. It's as simple and as complicated as that. I care just like I cared in high school," He stopped, taking in her shocked look. "Maybe I didn't show it so well, but I did. You know I liked you so get over yourself. And like I said, I don't want you to get hurt. But if you are sure that you are in this for the same thing as Logan then fine. Maybe you're right; maybe I don't know you anymore."

She sighed, relieved. At least he was getting it. Or, at least he was buying her bullshit.

"And again I'll say it. You. Never. Knew. Me."

He looked at her for a moment, blue meeting blue. "Because you never let me."

She was silent, because really, what could she say?

"Now I have to go." He said, and suddenly, she didn't want him to go.

She looked down, unable to meet his eyes. She hated this, whatever it was. She hated him for coming back and she hated him for caring and she hated that she didn't really hate him at all.

"Thanks for caring. But it's fine. I've grown up and I've changed but I'm still the same." She said why she wasn't sure. Why did she have to continuously make him think that she was the same girl as she was in high school. **She wasn't.**

He shrugged and she wasn't sure that he believed her.

"See you, Rory." And he was gone, into his classroom and walking out of her life once again. Always with the last words.

_I gotta go. So, I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching. Take care of yourself, Mary._

* * *

"That's a bummer. Hey, Tom and Katie didn't invite Oprah to their post-wedding party." Lorelai said into the phone.

"Who has a post-wedding party?" Rory asked, half listening to the conversation her mother was having. She was too distracted. She blamed it on her English paper sitting in front of her, but she had gotten good at lying – especially to herself.

"Tom and Katie."

"Right." Rory said, not in the mood to involve herself in her mother's pop culture references and inane jokes. "I'm going to go, I have to finish this paper tonight or I'll be way behind."

"You okay, babe?" Her mother asked, concern lacing her voice. Rory should have known that she couldn't act this way with her mother and get away with it.

She sucked at pretending to be happy.

"Fine. Long day, that's all."

"Did something happen with Logan?" Her mother asked, and Rory was suddenly angry. It was all about Logan. She wasn't even really with Logan.

"No, mom. It's fine." She hadn't told her mother about Tristan. She didn't feel like dredging up old high school jokes concerning him.

She knew her mother didn't believe her. But she didn't particularly care at the moment.

"Alright, hun. Good luck on that paper I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye mom."

And she hung up to once more stare at her computer screen and the three sentences of her English paper.

Her phone rang again, and she sighed, assuming it to be her mother without even looking.

"Mom, seriously this paper will not write itself."

"Well, Ace, I think that is probably the fourth time you've mistaken me for your mother." Logan's voice said on the other end, obviously a smile on his face, wherever he was.

Her eyes widened, and if she'd been standing she definitely would have had to sit.

"Logan. Hi. Sorry." She said, because really, what else could she say?

"How are you, Ace?" What was with guys and giving her nicknames?

"Fine, how are you?"

"Good, tired and bored and no work to do. Actually, that's a lie I have plenty of work to do but I'd rather see you. Whatcha up too?" He asked, and she hated him. No, she despised him.

"Paper, I'm um, working on a paper." She said, stumbling over her words and she wanted to kill herself for being such a bumbling idiot.

"Right, hence the way you answered the phone. Give me one hour, we'll get coffee. Or ice cream." Never in her life would she have expected Logan Huntzburger to offer to go out for ice cream with her. He didn't seem like the ice cream type at all.

"Ice cream? You want to get ice cream?"

He laughed on the other end and for one brief second she wanted to see him, just so she could seem his smile. "Hey, I like ice cream."

"Is that code for, I'll pick you up to go get ice cream but really we'll just end up having sex before we even get to the ice cream part?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could even fully process the thought in her head.

He was silent for a moment and she definitely stopped breathing.

"So what if it is?" He asked and she knew it was meant to be light hearted but she couldn't believe he'd said it – almost as much as she couldn't believe that they were having this conversation,

Her mouth opened and she forced herself to come up with something witty as opposed to the words already forming.

"Then forget it."

"What?"

"I'm so sick of this, of you."

"What the hell are you talking about Rory?" Okay. So they were really doing this.

"Friday night you brought me to a party. At said party you also proceeded to leave with another girl, and I'm going to guess that you didn't just bring her home like you said." Her words were laced in sarcasm. She suddenly had a lot to say.

"Rory, we aren't…"

She didn't let him finish. This was her now. "We aren't a couple. I'm well aware and I'm fine with it. I like being with you, I don't want you to be my boyfriend. I don't want you to be fucking anything except a half way decent guy that can at least respect the fact that even though he isn't committed to a girl that he's fucking he can at least treat her like a human being. I'm not an idiot and I know that you are well aware of that fact."

She sighed. Where the hell this was coming from she had no idea. Maybe she was just fed up. Maybe she just wanted to feel something other then _nothing_. Maybe, just maybe what Tristan had said to her had actually hit home.

"So what are you saying, Rory?" He asked, and she couldn't tell if his tone of voice meant that he was concerned or just plain bored.

All she knew was that she had no idea what she was saying or why or where she was going with it.

So she gave in and gave up and pretended. "I'm saying…I'm saying that you could at least really take me out to ice cream before we fuck."

She'd never used the word fuck so much in relation to the activities her and Logan took part in and she hated that it came out so naturally. She hated that it came out so naturally because that was exactly what they were doing.

She knew he was smiling. She knew he was relieved. And she knew that she was a coward, but so be it.

"I can do that."


End file.
